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31 Days to Keep a Tender Heart: October 17


I had some overwhelmed feelings as I drove home from work tonight. I felt tired from the day and still had important items on my to-do list. I was relieved that the day was almost over and trying to figure out how to persevere through my final tasks for today.

Somewhere around this time, I realized that I had snuck back into partnership with my old friend perfectionism. He always reassures me that I can do absolutely everything with excellence. Perfectionism also tells me that I should never say “No” to anyone. He tells me that I have to help everyone who asks and that my best is not enough. Perfectionism is actually a bully. He weighs me down with heavy burdens that are impossible to lift and insults me when I fail.
I broke off our partnership two years ago, but he hasn’t taken it well. He keeps trying to get back with me. Sometimes, he sneaks back into my life when I’m not watching. We were friends for so long that he feels really familiar and I forget that I don’t want to be associated with him anymore. Holy Spirit is best at noticing when perfectionism is coming back around, so I ask Him to keep watch and warn me.

Tonight, he did. So, I confessed that I had come back into agreement with perfectionism and asked God to forgive me. I broke my partnership with perfectionism again and asked God to help me receive His grace.
God reminded me that His strengths are made perfect in my weakness. So, tonight, I am counting my imperfections from today as gifts.

Still Counting Gifts:
·         #548: I skipped my run for the 2nd time this week and kept sleeping

·         #549: I was really grumpy when I woke up with a sore throat and told God that I would be mad at Him if He let me get sick

·         #550: I went to the Zechariah study out of obligation because I was feeling really tired (Although, I really, really enjoyed it once I was there and God adjusted my attitude!)

·         #551: I rejoiced when I found out my first client had canceled because I didn’t really want to be at work

·         #552: I was easily distracted today and had to keep asking God to help me focus

·         #553: I was encouraging a client to be open to a different explanation at the same time that I wasn’t open to God’s different explanation of what was happening with that person

·         #554: I was really trying to make everyone happy and thought I could accomplish that

·         #555: I am flawed, but while I was still dead in my sins, Jesus died for me so that we can be together forever

·         #556: Playing Apples to Apples with my family was an unexpected treat at the end of the day

·         #557: Blogging on my laptop with Lily asleep beside me, laying against my leg and running in her dream

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