This comes in the midst of conversations that I have been having with God about desire. In fact, pursuing this position kind of started those conversations.
My good friend Mackenzie, who works in the business office at RCS, told me about the position innocently enough. She wanted me to have the information about the position in case I had any counselor friends who might be interested in applying. What neither she nor I could have known, was how desire would stir in my heart as soon as she started to describe it to me.
There are also challenges. My income is constantly fluctuating and the recent changes in medical insurance have affected how much I am reimbursed for my work and whether or not my clients have coverage for mental health services. If you catch me on a vulnerable day, I am likely to rant about how much I pay in taxes and insurance.
I left my job as a school counselor in Chicago because I was completely burned out and I wanted to move to Rockford to be closer to my family and to be more involved in R2HOP. I wrongly assumed that I would never again work as a school counselor because I didn't think there was a private school here that would hire me and because I was so mentally and emotionally exhausted that I could not ever imagine working in another school.
Well, you know what they say: never say never.
As I initially considered the position, I was surprised by how quick my heart was to remember what it was like to be entrusted with the precious thoughts and feelings of children. I was surprised by how much I wanted to have that opportunity again.
I am excited about this new position, even though I know it will be a huge transition for me. I look forward to doing more preventative work and to having shorter sessions that include art and play. I'm also excited and curious about other possibilities that are available at RCS like helping with music during chapel or offering an elective to help children learn to express and care for their feelings in healthy ways.
And, I'm thankful that I can keep most of my clients in my private practice and continue the work that we have been doing together.
I'm meditating on John 15:9-10:
I've loved you the way my Father has loved me. Make yourselves at home in my love. If you keep my commands, you'll remain intimately at home in my love. That's what I've done--kept my Father's commands and made myself at home in his love. (The Message)
Still Counting Gifts:
- #1152: We had a wonderful time in Chicago celebrating my friend and former intern, Frances, as she married Matt! (The first three pictures are some of the beautiful moments that we captured there.)
- #1153: It was so, so refreshing to my heart to spend a weekend in Chicago and reconnect with my treasured friends and former roommates Michelle and Christine!
- #1154: Just days later, Ben and I got to host my dear friends from my time at the French School, Carine and Lilita, at our home
- #1155: Carine and Lilita got to visit the farm and take some delicious vegetables back to Chicago with them
- #1156: My house is clean because of all the company
- #1157: I have been living a new rhythm of prioritizing resting and receiving in my free time over accomplishing important tasks
- #1158: I have been practicing saying calm when someone seems unhappy with me or needs something that I am not willing to provide and waiting until I am actually ready to respond before I try to fix the problem
- #1159: We get to go camping AND tubing this weekend
- #1160: My birthday is on Monday and I took the day off, decided that I'm going out to breakfast and making myself my favorite cake
- #1161: We got to borrow one of our favorite dogs this weekend