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Showing posts from August, 2012

Praying is what I do

Isn't it encouraging when God reminds you of who you are and what it is that He has called you to do?!

When I was at Fire in the Night, I prayed a lot and I loved it. I realized that I really have been created as an intercessor and that is my primary mandate. Now, I am also really gifted in counseling and helping people, but that's second. Praying is what I do first. This is what I was made for: to encounter God through prayer. I cry out to Him and He answers. I quiet myself and listen to Him speak to me too. My time at IHOP-KC affirmed this prayer calling and started me down the path to living as a committed intercessor in a HOP.

It's been almost a year since I did Fire in the Night and I have started reversing my mandates again. You see, I had wrongly made counseling my primary mandate way back in graduate school. And, I had continued this way for years until I got completely burnt out. The snatches of time that I would get in the prayer room when I was home from Chicago o…

Halfway through August

August 10: 3 hard eucharisteo
#250: Celebrating my youngest brother's marriage while I keep waiting for my own#251: Choosing to praise God anytime the feelings of longing or jealousy come#252: Trusting God when people I love really hurt in the face of unanswered prayers#253: Believing that both the good and the bad really are God's goodness and love for each one of us todayAugust 11: 3 gifts of metal
#254: The espresso machine at Starbucks #255: Patrick and Haley's wedding rings#256: Roller coasters at Cedar Point! (This was technically from the 12th, but I can't resist counting it here) #257: Singing and dancing along to the Rio love song at the end of the wedding

#258: A new sister

#259: Chipotle, followed by a chocolate dipped cone from Dairy Queen and then the hot tub

August 12: 3 gifts half-hidden
#260: Roads that we would never see if the GPS didn't warn us to be watching#261: Quality time with family, found waiting in line#262: The moment when the coaster crests…

When it’s hard to stay present

Sometimes I find it hard to stay present. We're leaving for Ohio early tomorrow morning and I'm not ready because I have a lot of things that I have put off doing until tonight. I'm also excited for a weekend of wedding celebrations and then fun at Cedar Point. Beyond that, I'm aware of plans to get together with friends and other things that I'm hoping to do with the last days of summer. So, I'm fighting to keep my mind from wandering to all that lies before me. I'm fighting to stay present with my clients and what I'm doing now, instead of drifting into thinking of what's to come.
Today, I'm tempted to miss the gifts of the present by anticipating the future. Other days, it's the past that catches my attention and drags it from the present. When I replay a conversation over and over and imagine what I could have said differently to seem better in the eyes of that other person. I review choices that I have made and play "What if?"…


Tomorrow is my birthday. I will be 31 years old.

Today, I've been reflecting on the wild ride that the past year of my life has been. I was in Paris, France this time last year. Exactly one year ago today, I shopped in Les Halles, sipped strong coffee from a small cup at a café on a busy street, and meandered through the Luxembourg Gardens and past La Sorbonne. I hurried through some light rain, trying to find the restaurant that the city guide recommended before I got too wet. When I realized that the restaurant was nowhere to be found, I ducked into a small Italian place across the way. Fortunately for me, they were actually Italian and I had some of the best lasagna and tiramisu that I have ever tasted. Once I could eat no more, I slipped into the now dark streets and followed the light shining up into the night sky until I stood before Le Tour Eiffel. It is so beautiful by night! I took picture after picture that could barely reflect what I wanted to capture. It sparkled and I…

Unfairly blessed

I have been feeling ridiculously blessed in the past week. I actually broke down when I was talking with my sister one night because it felt unfair that God is blessing me so extravagantly while other people I know and love are hard at work counting blessings because they are tempted to think that they aren't really receiving any at all. One of the things that I love about counting blessings is that it helps each of us to recognize just how blessed we really are. But, it is still painful when certain people seem to have everything come so easily to them and I think that I am continually going without. It's also hard when I have identified myself an unfairly unblessed person for so long and only recently, I have been trying to make the change to seeing myself as richly blessed. It feels awkward and scary.
While it's true that my biggest unanswered prayer of finding a godly man to share my life with still hasn't been fulfilled, I have become that person who has things co…