Skip to main content

Unfairly blessed

I have been feeling ridiculously blessed in the past week. I actually broke down when I was talking with my sister one night because it felt unfair that God is blessing me so extravagantly while other people I know and love are hard at work counting blessings because they are tempted to think that they aren't really receiving any at all. One of the things that I love about counting blessings is that it helps each of us to recognize just how blessed we really are. But, it is still painful when certain people seem to have everything come so easily to them and I think that I am continually going without. It's also hard when I have identified myself an unfairly unblessed person for so long and only recently, I have been trying to make the change to seeing myself as richly blessed. It feels awkward and scary.

While it's true that my biggest unanswered prayer of finding a godly man to share my life with still hasn't been fulfilled, I have become that person who has things coming easily to them in all these other areas of my life. My career, which I didn't care about for the longest time, because I just wanted to be a wife and mother, is really developing now. And, I have discovered that I am hugely blessed because I love it and I'm really good at it. And, I never even asked God for these blessings and He has given them to me anyways. Lots of people have started complimenting my work and my business is becoming profitable and I feel really weird about it. And, I feel embarrassed because I am receiving all of these good things and some others aren't. They are receiving different blessings, but I feel afraid that they may feel jealous of my blessings and that this could hurt our relationship. I feel sad because I want everyone that I know and love to feel as richly blessed by God and I know that some people are actively struggling to get there.

I am afraid that people may think that I am doing something right and they are doing something wrong when the truth is that none of us deserve anything good, ever. We all deserve death. It is only because of God's unfailing love for us that we receive anything else. It is only because of His infinite goodness that we receive good and perfect gifts. Sometimes, we feel unfairly deprived by God. I think that it's really important to count gifts then to remind us that we are still blessed indeed. We may not be receiving the gifts that we desire most and ask about most frequently, but we are receiving many other valuable gifts on daily basis. Other times, we feel unfairly blessed by God, as I have recently. I think that it's really important to count these gifts too to remind myself and others that these gifts are the grace of God, not the product of our works.

With that said, here are the rest of my July gifts:

July 26: 3 gifts fresh

  • #203: When my mom texted me to ask if I had ordered a Nespresso machine because a huge box had just arrived at the house and I realized that someone had sent me an incredible birthday surprise
  • #204: The basil, mozzarella and tomato on my salad at dinner
  • #205: Conversation with a good friend that I haven't seen in a long time

July 27: A gift on vacation, at home, in relaxation

  • #206: Sleeping and waking in a magnificent bedroom overlooking Michigan Ave
  • #207: Making coffee for my entire family with my new Nespresso machine
  • #208: Breathing deeply at the end of the day as I enjoy worshipping God at the HOP

July 28: 3 gifts of beginnings

  • #209: Waking up to enjoy extended quality time with my sister!
  • #210: Using a new coffee cup for the very first time
  • #211: A new routine of settling down at the end of the day by watching the Olympics

July 29: 3 gifts together

  • #212: Teaming up with my parents to set up a new tent
  • #213: Connecting four tubes with arms and feet so that we can all look at each other as we float down the lazy river
  • #214: Time with the community of worship leaders at the HOP to share our hearts and vision

July 30: 3 gifts heard

  • #215: 3 clients told me that they had referred me to someone that they know
  • #216: A friend told me that I looked beautiful and I believed her
  • #217: God's love song over me

July 31: 3 gifts difficult

  • #218: Being at work for 12 hours straight
  • #219: That I desire to fight for my thoughts to honor God and for my imagination to stay pure
  • #220: My tender heart that is so easily affected by people and situations

Comments

  1. Beautiful. I lovex Anns book. My favorite is picturing you all on your tubes:)!!!!

    ReplyDelete

  2. Great! We all are (at times) unfairly blessed! Rejoice in it. :)

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Transition, transition, transition

Wow, it's already the middle of September! This past month has flown by for me.









I just finished my fifth week of the new school year.

I am loving The Quiet Collection by Emily P Freeman to help me have a sane September. (This blog post appearing is a partial fruit from one of those devotions which encouraged me to stop overthinking things and create.)

I'm remembering how vital my crock pot is if we want to have a hot dinner on a work day.

I have completed 8 of my 21 days of working out goal for this month!

I have done some hard stops for prayer, gazing on beauty, snuggling one of my loves and remembering how to breathe deeply.

One of the discoveries in this season of transition is that I have believed that busy=bad. My sweet, slow-paced summer schedule has been swapped out for one that is much more highly charged with many responsibilities and activities that are looking for a place within my week. I have found myself feeling shame over how full my schedule is and afraid that …
Post a Comment
Read more

A Summer to Thrive

I am finishing my last week of my summer work hours. I have been reflecting on my summer and how I spent it.

In May, I intentionally wrote a list of hopes, dreams and goals for my summer season. I used my daring greatly manifesto from Vulnerability, Courage, Shame, and Empathy: The Living Brave Continuing Education Course. I completed Jess Connolly's Summer to Thrive: A Guide to Chilling Out and Enjoying Summer. I also spent time in prayer and asked God to give me words and ideas that would define the season.

This week, I am taking time to review these things. I am also rereading what I journaled about my actual summer. I feel encouraged by what a great summer it has been and how many of my hopes I was able to engage!





I pursued wholeheartedness in a lot of ways. I read books, I cooked and baked, I listened to music and I spent a lot of sweet quality time with people I cherish. I enjoyed time in prayer and worship each week and adopted a much slower pace of life. I asked questions …
Post a Comment
Read more

My Arbonne Story - A journey of discovery

You guys, drum roll, please... I have become an Independent Consultant with Arbonne!

This is a big change for me and I am SO, so excited for this opportunity. But, no one seems to be as surprised as I am by this development. Most of the people that I have told have said something like, "That makes sense." Or, "I can see you doing that."This has gotten me reflecting on what has been emerging in me that is facilitating this transition. And, how does what seems like such a discovery to me seem so logical to everyone else?!

I have been an Arbonne groupie for several years now. I absolutely love their product! Every time they come out with something new and I get to try it, I end up wanting it. I have hosted several parties and I have thoroughly enjoyed introducing other people to all of the amazing products that I have been enjoying, but I never considered becoming a consultant.
Recently, something shifted for me. I was at a party and I felt really stirred when Nikki …
Post a Comment
Read more