Skip to main content

When it’s hard to stay present

Sometimes I find it hard to stay present. We're leaving for Ohio early tomorrow morning and I'm not ready because I have a lot of things that I have put off doing until tonight. I'm also excited for a weekend of wedding celebrations and then fun at Cedar Point. Beyond that, I'm aware of plans to get together with friends and other things that I'm hoping to do with the last days of summer. So, I'm fighting to keep my mind from wandering to all that lies before me. I'm fighting to stay present with my clients and what I'm doing now, instead of drifting into thinking of what's to come.

Today, I'm tempted to miss the gifts of the present by anticipating the future. Other days, it's the past that catches my attention and drags it from the present. When I replay a conversation over and over and imagine what I could have said differently to seem better in the eyes of that other person. I review choices that I have made and play "What if?" I embrace regret and wishful thinking, which usually leads to feelings of sadness, disappointment and frustration.

Either way, I miss the gift of now. What is God saying and doing right now? How is His unfailing love and incredible grace mine to receive now? How can I treasure this moment, this present experience, and steward it in such a way that I feel and enjoy every blessing? I want to receive everything that God has for me. I want to open my hands and my heart as wide as they will go and take in everything that will fit. I'm choosing to enjoy my present.

August 3: A gift at 10 AM, 1 PM, 10 PM

  • #229: Birthday breakfast at Egg Harbor Cafe with a surprise visit from Michelle and Tyson
  • #230: Combining half of an almond cupcake and half of a churro cupcake for a delicious afternoon treat
  • #231: Looking up through the mesh window of the tent and enjoying the stars

August 4: 3 gifts sitting

  • #232: Sitting down to breakfast around the picnic table
  • #233: Sharing a tree stump seat with mom while we watch Lily throw herself into the lake repeatedly to rescue sticks
  • #234: Eating smores around the campfire and laughing when Noah gets marshmallow stuck to his chin

August 5: A gift outside, inside, upside down

  • #235: My gift outside was our whole camping weekend with walks in the woods and to the lake, eating campfire cooked treats, breathing in the smells of fire and earth and all the good conversations that happened in between
  • #236: My gift inside was arriving back to our delightful yellow house with all its' luxuries at the end of camping
  • #237: My gift upside down was how I enjoyed being dirty the whole weekend

August 6: 3 gifts in water

  • #238: That first shower back and remembering what it's like to be clean
  • #239: Sips of refreshing water in the midst of a hot and sweaty run
  • #240: Clean drinking water from multiple sources in my house when so many go to great lengths only to find polluted water

August 7: 3 gifts in His WORD

  • #241: Seeing how God has mercy when His people humble themselves in repentance
  • #242: The way it often seems written specifically for me
  • #243: God's promise in Isaiah 56:7 to "fill me with joy in His house of prayer" and how often I feel that way when I am there

August 8: 3 gifts in summer

  • #244: The feel of grass between my toes
  • #245: Being outside when it's that perfect temperature that is neither too hot, nor too cold
  • #246: Fun activities like vacations, weddings, recreation and sports, and how it's always easier to find time to read fiction

August 9: A gift hole, whole, half

  • #247: Space in my schedule to read and write blog posts
  • #248: How Christ is making me whole by His grace
  • #249: The delicious half of a veggie burrito that I will eat for lunch!

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Back to School

Well, after four years away from school counseling, I have decided to return. Yes, I'm keeping my private practice in counseling. I will be reducing the number of clients that I see on a weekly basis in order to work 20 hours a week as a school counselor at Rockford Christian Elementary School. This comes in the midst of conversations that I have been having with God about desire. In fact, pursuing this position kind of started those conversations. My good friend Mackenzie, who works in the business office at RCS, told me about the position innocently enough. She wanted me to have the information about the position in case I had any counselor friends who might be interested in applying. What neither she nor I could have known, was how desire would stir in my heart as soon as she started to describe it to me. There are things that I have come to absolutely love in private practice counseling. I love being my own boss, setting my own hours and having complete freedom over...

When Creative Desire Stirs

The past 3 months have felt crazy. And during all these months of crazy, busy activity in my life, desire has been stirring in the background of my heart. I read things that other people write and feel myself come alive. I talk with people and hear things that God is speaking and want to write them down and share. I listen to music, sing to the Lord and long to create something that will help other people to connect with God in worship. It has been over two months since I touched our piano. Or any piano, for that matter. This is also my first blog post in almost 3 months. Crazy months, yes. But, 3 months all the same. I feel sad about these things. And scared to start again. What if I have lost everything that I had developed? But even fear of the possible frustration of starting again has not been able to change my desire. My desire has only been stirring and growing all this time. My desire is to resume creating. With piano. With words. This is week 9 of my training for t...

10 days of wedding anticipation

On the 10 th day before my wedding… I put on my fall colors. I usually like to go a little darker in the fall and winter months, although I keep the ombre style all year long. Chrissy Tripodi, at Studio Blu, does an amazing job! We have these little chats before she does my hair. I tell her what I'm thinking and she is full of great ideas. I never know exactly what my hair will look like when she's done, but I have never been anything less than thrilled with her work. This time we even looked at pictures on pinterest and talked about what my hair would look like for the wedding. Chrissy put some extra colors in the hair around my face so that when she puts it all up, there will be lots of dimension to enjoy.  Ben came too. He wanted to get his hair trimmed. Chrissy cut his hair while my color was setting. We might make it a tradition to get our hair cut together. We went together just before my sister’s wedding too and it's been great both times. Our shared...