Skip to main content

31 Days to Keep a Tender Heart: October 24

 
When I go out to the waiting room to get a client, I try to always greet them by name and with a smile. As we cover the short distance from the waiting room to my office, I usually ask, “How are you today?” Almost always, my client will respond, “Fine.” Once we are safely inside my office with the door shut, I will ask this question again and my clients are almost never “fine”. They are angry, sad, depressed, terribly anxious, disappointed and uncertain of how to handle all of their “un-fine” feelings.
I really appreciate this exchange with my clients. I have laughed with several of them over how they really aren’t “fine” and why do they say this when it’s not true? But, I understand the problem because I have it too.
Chances are, if you have ever asked me how I am doing, then I probably responded with, “Fine.” And I can guarantee that some of those times, I really was not fine in that moment.
Why do we do this? Why this obsession with being “fine” all the time? Why not share how we are really feeling?
For me, I think that it has to do with my tendency to classify feelings as “good” or “bad”. I think feelings like sad, angry, disappointed, jealous and scared are “bad” and I should not have them. I feel guilty and I think I’m a bad Christian when these feelings bunch up in me. So, I pretend that I don’t feel these feelings. I hide them under the veneer of “fine.” It doesn’t really feel like lying because I’m not pretending that I’m feeling happy or content. I’m just not sharing my feelings honestly. And, I don’t want to have these feelings, so it’s hard to own them.  
I just finished reading chapter 4: with a wink and a smile, hiding behind her fake “fine” with Emily P. Freeman and Grace for the Good Girl. She explores why good girls use “fine” all the time. Emily also writes about the natural swing of emotions that God designed us to have. I underlined almost the whole chapter, but there were two parts that were particularly meaningful to me, so I will quote them here.
So often I feel embarrassed or guilty over my humanness, but our emotions and experiences are all a part of that swing.
Trying not to experience the whole spectrum of emotions is like trying to be inhuman.
Our fluctuating humanness is there on purpose, to remind us of our need and draw us to the One who can meet it. We don’t have to figure out the whys and the origins of every swinging emotion. But it is so important that we admit they are there. To embrace the color and fullness of our emotional, un-fine state is to open wide enough to receive compassion and grace. Only then will we be able to offer that same compassion and grace to others in honest and authentic ways.
To be able to receive and extend compassion and grace sounds wonderful to me. I guess I will have to start embracing my humanness and the color and fullness of my emotional, un-fine state then.
Still Counting Gifts:
·         #592: Enough perseverance (or foolishness) to do the 30 day shred video this morning
·         #593: When my dad made extra coffee just for me
·         #594: Turning getting ready into worship
·         #595: Finally being on time this 3rd week of the Zechariah study!
·         #596: How God knows exactly what I need on a daily basis and clients will cancel and open up time in my schedule just when I need it
·         #597: The work in me that still needs to be done is God’s responsibility
·         #598: When my office becomes a prayer closet
·         #599: I can still see fall colors right outside my window
·         #600: God’s love, goodness and faithfulness are all toward me
·         #601: Today, I am really enjoying my life, just as it is

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Heart Revival

Hey you guys,

It's been almost two years since my last post. What?!

I know some of you probably forgot that I even used to do this, but I hope that you're as excited as I am that I'm coming back to blogging. It's a new season and God has been stirring up lots of creativity and courage in me recently. I'm happy to tell you all about it.

In case you missed it, I became a mom to sweet Elias last summer. In fact, he is about to turn 1 year old on Monday and I can't believe it! Guys, he is absolutely the sweetest, calmest and most delightful baby you can ever imagine and I still tear up sometimes in gratitude when I remember that he is my little boy.

One of my life dreams to be a stay-at-home mama has been partially fulfilled in that I only work three days a week during the school year. I work 2 1/2 days at RCS Elementary School and it is an amazing place. Shortly after I got there, they put me in charge of the two chapel services that happen each week. Guess what? …

A Summer to Thrive

I am finishing my last week of my summer work hours. I have been reflecting on my summer and how I spent it.

In May, I intentionally wrote a list of hopes, dreams and goals for my summer season. I used my daring greatly manifesto from Vulnerability, Courage, Shame, and Empathy: The Living Brave Continuing Education Course. I completed Jess Connolly's Summer to Thrive: A Guide to Chilling Out and Enjoying Summer. I also spent time in prayer and asked God to give me words and ideas that would define the season.

This week, I am taking time to review these things. I am also rereading what I journaled about my actual summer. I feel encouraged by what a great summer it has been and how many of my hopes I was able to engage!





I pursued wholeheartedness in a lot of ways. I read books, I cooked and baked, I listened to music and I spent a lot of sweet quality time with people I cherish. I enjoyed time in prayer and worship each week and adopted a much slower pace of life. I asked questions …

My Arbonne Story - A journey of discovery

You guys, drum roll, please... I have become an Independent Consultant with Arbonne!

This is a big change for me and I am SO, so excited for this opportunity. But, no one seems to be as surprised as I am by this development. Most of the people that I have told have said something like, "That makes sense." Or, "I can see you doing that."This has gotten me reflecting on what has been emerging in me that is facilitating this transition. And, how does what seems like such a discovery to me seem so logical to everyone else?!

I have been an Arbonne groupie for several years now. I absolutely love their product! Every time they come out with something new and I get to try it, I end up wanting it. I have hosted several parties and I have thoroughly enjoyed introducing other people to all of the amazing products that I have been enjoying, but I never considered becoming a consultant.
Recently, something shifted for me. I was at a party and I felt really stirred when Nikki …