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31 Days to Keep a Tender Heart: October 15

 
I saw a fox in broad daylight today. This was concerning to me because I saw him yesterday, also in broad daylight and around the same place. He looks thin and unwell. I was on my way to work and I felt scared for the little fox and powerless to help him. I called my mom and left her a message explaining about the fox and asking if she knew who we could call to get him some help. I don’t think I begged her to do something to help him, but she must have heard the fear in my voice because she made several calls and texted me about them.
I felt fragile and tearful after my fox sighting. I was afraid that he would die and I desperately wanted to help him. I felt weak in my impotence to help that creature and this feeling started creeping into my feelings about my work day. I had a full schedule with at least one very challenging client. Suddenly, I felt unprepared, tired and worried. If I can’t even help one small fox, then what do I have to offer people in pain?
So, I prayed. I confessed all my feelings to God and I asked Him to provide for me. I asked Him to take care of the fox and reminded Him that even creation is negatively affected by the spiritual state of our world. I asked Jesus to come back soon. I told Him that all of creation is longing for the day when He will rule the earth from Jerusalem. I told Jesus that even the foxes suffer because of our current leadership by the prince of this age. I admitted that it hurts my heart when I see animals hurting and creation thrashing. I long for that day when Jesus will return to earth and make the wrong things right. I long for the day when we will be able to interact with the animals the way that Adam and Eve did. I long for the day when we will be able to see Jesus face to face here on the earth.
I sent my prayers straight to God’s heart and I imagined them shooting upwards like lights and into that great bowl filled with all the prayers of the saints from all the ages past and present. I joined my prayers with those of every other person who has prayed, “Come, Lord Jesus, come quickly.” I believed that my prayers were real and that they have real impact. I felt that I am a part of a great cloud of witnesses and my voice is heard.
I also asked God to cover me. I imagined Him stretching out His arms of love and bringing me into safety close to His heart. I prayed for my clients and asked that God would help me to hear the words He has to say to them and to fill my heart with His love and compassion for them.
Finally, I worshipped. I counted gifts and praised God for who He is. I declared that He is holy and worthy of all glory and honor.
God comforted my heart and my vulnerable feelings from this morning kept me close to Him and leaning in all day long. I know that there are things that God said that I would have missed if I hadn’t positioned myself so closely to Him when I felt so exposed and weak. So, I thank God for:
Still Counting Gifts:
·         #529: A small, frail, exposed fox who provoked my heart
·         #530: Feeling fragile and tender
·         #531: My God who hears me
·         #532: When God shares His heart with me and lets me feel a little bit of how He feels for someone or something
·         #533: Humility to recognize when a session is getting stuck and it’s time to pray
·         #534: Endurance for 5 clients all in a row
·         #535: Allowing myself to receive grace when I run late, all day long
·         #536: Donuts at Bible study when I didn’t have a dinner
·         #537: Time to mull over my thoughts and feelings from the events of this weekend

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