I feel sad for trees losing their leaves. They look so
exposed and vulnerable with their bare branches.
I felt a bit like that the other day. I don’t spend a lot of
time on Facebook, but every once and a while I will look at other people’s
pages. A few days ago, I was looking at a friend’s page and I started having
some insecure feelings. We graduated high school in the same year and she is
only a few months older than me. But, she, unlike me, has been married for a
few years and now has a baby.
I was looking at some of her pictures and I started feeling
exposed. The questions that I try to avoid asking myself started coming.
Why is everyone my age
married? Why do so many of my friends have children already? Why am I so different
from all these people? Is my life less than those of people who are married and
have kids?
My singleness and my childlessness felt like bare branches
whose leaf covering had fallen away.
I wondered what people my age think when they look at my Facebook
page. I think that those close to me understand that I am still single and
without children because I am waiting on the fullness of God for the provision
of these precious gifts.
But, what about everybody else? Are they seeing these gaps
in the leaves and wondering why these branches in my life are so bare and
empty? Do I seem obsessed with my career because that is where God is
cultivating my life right now?
It’s true that I often try to focus conversation on where I
do feel successful: my work. I’m desperate to call your attention to the leaves
that are on my tree because I fear your judgment where my branches are showing.
But, when I meet new people and the inevitable question of
whether or not I’m married with children comes up, I try to answer
authentically. I usually say that I haven’t found someone that I want to have
children with yet. This is true. And, people tend to be very gracious when I am
this honest. They say things like, “That’s wise.” Or, “It’s worth the wait.”
Or, “Good for you.”
So, I’m going to try to stand tall the way the trees do and
proudly display my leaves and my
bare branches. This is the season of life that the LORD has me in, and it is
very good.
Still Counting Gifts:
·
#602:
The last bits of warm weather before the cold front
·
#603:
Green light after green light on my way to work
·
#604:
A hurting human heart exposed
·
#605:
A fascinating presentation by Pablo Korona at Rockford Rotary Club
·
#606:
Watching a storm roll in
·
#607:
A song I really wanted to hear played on the radio just before I got out of the
car
·
#608:
How God keeps giving me pockets of time and how He uses them to nurture my
spirit and help me remember to breathe deeply and rest in Him
·
#609:
My business is actually God’s business and I can trust Him to have His way
·
#610:
The delicious knowledge that I am taking a day off tomorrow and get to go to
the apple orchard (finally!)
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