pursuing LOVE...and JOY...and WHOLEHEARTEDNESS!

I absolutely love my Christmas tree. Ben picked it out and I wrapped it with lights and hung all the ornaments. The needles are shorter than I usually like, but it's still soft to the touch. Our tree skirt is red with little wooden buttons sewn on it. I turn the lights on just as soon as I can open my eyes enough to see what I'm doing and they stay on until the last second before walking out the door or heading to bed. I literally have warm, fuzzy feelings every time I see our little Christmas tree shining in its' corner. I have a few of my favorite Christmas cards that I put out every year and some childhood craft projects that are fun to display. Ben has a beautiful nativity set that his mom painted and we got our first ornament together. God is good in this season and others. We leave for North Dakota on Friday, so I'm savoring Christmas at our house for just a few more days. This will be my first Christmas outside the Pearcy clan. I'm excited to discov...

A Million Little Ways , by Emily P. Freeman, is one that has been working on me for a few weeks now. The main premise is that we are all made to create art because we are made in God's image. This isn't necessarily art as we tend to think of it. It is more the idea that who we are and all that we do is art in the unique expression of who God has made us to be. This book has been coaxing me into exploring art that I had previously ruled out, for various reasons. I decided to start piano lessons after a decade away so that I can finally learn how to play worship music by chords. I am starting to think that the extra time I have been finding in my schedule because I am seeing fewer clients might be a gift from God so that I can read, think and write. God seems to be offering me space to rediscover abandoned dreams and cultivate my creative interests. I'm not your typical art kid and my creativity has always felt more internal than expressive, but I'm want to allow m...

On December 2, 2012, I was at home at my parent's house. I know that it was a Sunday, but I don't remember exactly what I did. 2013 What I do know is that I was still thinking about how I had finally reconnected with Ben Striker at a burn at the Rock River House of Prayer the day before. I know that I was trying not to think about him romantically and that I was feeling proud of myself for reconnecting with him like a normal person after two years of separation and the strong attraction that I had immediately felt for him. Christmas 2012 What I didn't know is that he would have a mutual friend text me just two days later to ask if she could give him my phone number. I did not know that we would have our first date just five days later, be dating after only two weeks or be engaged by Valentine's Day. I definitely could not have imagined that we would be married by the end of September. I have been thinking a lot about how quickly things can change and how...

 It's snowing outside my window. It just started to stick a little bit. I can see it on the trees and covering the leaves. This is the first snow of the season. It means change is coming. Fall coats are no longer be sufficient. Hats, scarves and gloves become a part of my daily wardrobe. My car needs time to warm up and I should fill up with gas when it gets down to 1/4 tank. I really like this time of year. Fall is ending and winter is coming. I like snuggling in front of a fire and wearing sweaters. I like drinking hot chocolate, apple cider and spice tea, in addition to my usual coffee consumption. I like Thanksgiving, the holiday and the practice. While I welcome this change in season, I am so aware of how I am struggling in my own transition. I have spent several hours contacting insurance companies to change my name now that I am doing business as Jody Striker, LCPC. Ben is still collecting our things from the various places where we have been storing them. Th...

If you have read my blog before, then you may have already guessed that I struggle with fear and control. In fact, I have wrestled with them for most of my life. Sometimes, I get discouraged because they still have power over me. Recently, I reached a new level of frustration with them and decided that I was done. I'm done ruminating over what people think, fearing rejection and judgment and trying to control every single aspect of my life in order to protect myself from what I fear. So, I prayed one of those desperate and risky prayers: God, I want to be ruled by your love, not fear and control. I give you my permission to do whatever it takes to set me free from fear and control. Even if I have to endure difficult circumstances or emotional pain, I don't want to live this way anymore! Now, I prayed this with a sober mind. I understood that I was inviting God to mess with my life. But, I can't stand feeling this way anymore. But, what happened next has been eve...

People keep asking me how I like being married. I get it. I’m adjusting to a major life transition. People are excited for me and this is an easy way for them to enter into my joy. They ask this question and I start gushing. I say that I love it. It’s wonderful. Yes, we’re settling in well, there in the basement of my parents house. I may mention that Ben has been hanging things in our room and brought furniture out of storage to make our space more like home. If the conversation lasts long enough and becomes more intimate, I may even tell them that some of my favorite things are when we pray together in the morning and he makes me coffee to help me wake up. I like when we fall asleep with hands and toes just barely touching; in our space, but still nearby. I like calling him my husband and hearing him say that I’m his wife. Being married has been wonderfully different and also surprisingly the same. My life at work, for example, feels exactly like it did before I w...

I got married three weeks ago today. I’ve been thinking a lot about our wedding since that day. This was my first week back to work, which meant that I got to talk a lot about that day and show pictures, because everything is still fresh and new and people are anxious to know how it went. I have missed writing. Several times during our honeymoon, I almost grabbed my laptop because I had the urge to write. I never did, but I wanted to. I think that it felt too intimate to record in some ways. And, in others, I was just enjoying being lazy and carefree. I plan to write about what I remember from my wedding. (Maybe even some things from our honeymoon. We shall see…) I don’t know what I will share, but I want to make a record of my memories and experiences from that day. Just three weeks later, but the feelings are less vivid and the mental pictures are less crisp. Fortunately, our photographer did an amazing job and I am thankful that I have those images to remind me....