Skip to main content

How do I like being married?

People keep asking me how I like being married.

I get it. I’m adjusting to a major life transition. People are excited for me and this is an easy way for them to enter into my joy. They ask this question and I start gushing.

I say that I love it. It’s wonderful. Yes, we’re settling in well, there in the basement of my parents house. I may mention that Ben has been hanging things in our room and brought furniture out of storage to make our space more like home.

If the conversation lasts long enough and becomes more intimate, I may even tell them that some of my favorite things are when we pray together in the morning and he makes me coffee to help me wake up. I like when we fall asleep with hands and toes just barely touching; in our space, but still nearby. I like calling him my husband and hearing him say that I’m his wife.

Being married has been wonderfully different and also surprisingly the same. My life at work, for example, feels exactly like it did before I was married. I can get so distracted there that I forget about Ben entirely. We have had several days this week where we had completely separate schedules and only saw each other in the morning and at bedtime. I almost feel single again in those moments.

My insecurities have not changed either. I’m still somewhat stunned that this amazing man chose to commit the rest of his life to me. Having his love and last name has not changed the way that I struggle to believe what God says is true about me. In some ways, being married to Ben just further exposes the same weaknesses that I have had all along. And Ben can’t fix them, as much as he wants to and starts talking about crawling into my head to kill the accusing voice that taunts and judges me.

One thing that is different and helpful as I face my insecurities in the context of marriage is the way that God will come shining out of my husband with truth and love. I experience glimpses of God in the way that Ben looks at me and how he treats me, especially in my weakness. I feel a gentleness and acceptance that invite me out of my defensive and scared posture. Ben is wise and has good ideas about how I can change my thinking, but invariably the most helpful and supportive thing that he does in those moments is to pray for me. He ushers me into session with the Wonderful Counselor who heals my hurts and makes me whole.


Whether or not you believe this, I still have deep fears that I am wrestling through. I have told God that I want to be ruled by love, not fear. I have invited Him to set me free and to use whatever process He deems best. I’m not sure what He will choose, but I am confident that my new husband is an important part of His plan. 

Still Counting all of God's good gifts to me:
  • #878: I saw 29 clients last week and this is the most that I have seen in one week since I changed offices
  • #879: I discovered just how relaxing and delightful a facial is
  • #880: Singing with Ben 
  • #881: Going out for breakfast spontaneously
  • #882: That I was not seriously hurt when I made the poor decision to stand on the toilet seat to adjust the shower head and ended up tearing down the curtain and falling into the shower after the toilet seat broke (I'm sure it would have been hilarious to see, but alas, I was all by myself.)
  • #883: Sister visits
  • #884: Cookies and Cream ice cream
  • #885: Doc Martin marathon's
  • #886: Dinner and catching up with a friend
  • #887: Ben's birthday
  • #888: A weekend in Chicago

Comments

  1. Jody! I enjoyed reading your post! Congratulations, by the way!
    I especially liked your insight into dealing with insecurities despite being married, and how the best thing for them is prayer. I'm going to use that. :)

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Heart Revival

Hey you guys,

It's been almost two years since my last post. What?!

I know some of you probably forgot that I even used to do this, but I hope that you're as excited as I am that I'm coming back to blogging. It's a new season and God has been stirring up lots of creativity and courage in me recently. I'm happy to tell you all about it.

In case you missed it, I became a mom to sweet Elias last summer. In fact, he is about to turn 1 year old on Monday and I can't believe it! Guys, he is absolutely the sweetest, calmest and most delightful baby you can ever imagine and I still tear up sometimes in gratitude when I remember that he is my little boy.

One of my life dreams to be a stay-at-home mama has been partially fulfilled in that I only work three days a week during the school year. I work 2 1/2 days at RCS Elementary School and it is an amazing place. Shortly after I got there, they put me in charge of the two chapel services that happen each week. Guess what? …

Transition, transition, transition

Wow, it's already the middle of September! This past month has flown by for me.









I just finished my fifth week of the new school year.

I am loving The Quiet Collection by Emily P Freeman to help me have a sane September. (This blog post appearing is a partial fruit from one of those devotions which encouraged me to stop overthinking things and create.)

I'm remembering how vital my crock pot is if we want to have a hot dinner on a work day.

I have completed 8 of my 21 days of working out goal for this month!

I have done some hard stops for prayer, gazing on beauty, snuggling one of my loves and remembering how to breathe deeply.

One of the discoveries in this season of transition is that I have believed that busy=bad. My sweet, slow-paced summer schedule has been swapped out for one that is much more highly charged with many responsibilities and activities that are looking for a place within my week. I have found myself feeling shame over how full my schedule is and afraid that …

A Summer to Thrive

I am finishing my last week of my summer work hours. I have been reflecting on my summer and how I spent it.

In May, I intentionally wrote a list of hopes, dreams and goals for my summer season. I used my daring greatly manifesto from Vulnerability, Courage, Shame, and Empathy: The Living Brave Continuing Education Course. I completed Jess Connolly's Summer to Thrive: A Guide to Chilling Out and Enjoying Summer. I also spent time in prayer and asked God to give me words and ideas that would define the season.

This week, I am taking time to review these things. I am also rereading what I journaled about my actual summer. I feel encouraged by what a great summer it has been and how many of my hopes I was able to engage!





I pursued wholeheartedness in a lot of ways. I read books, I cooked and baked, I listened to music and I spent a lot of sweet quality time with people I cherish. I enjoyed time in prayer and worship each week and adopted a much slower pace of life. I asked questions …