I just finished my fifth week of the new school year.
I am loving The Quiet Collection by Emily P Freeman to help me have a sane September. (This blog post appearing is a partial fruit from one of those devotions which encouraged me to stop overthinking things and create.)
I'm remembering how vital my crock pot is if we want to have a hot dinner on a work day.
I have completed 8 of my 21 days of working out goal for this month!
I have done some hard stops for prayer, gazing on beauty, snuggling one of my loves and remembering how to breathe deeply.
One of the discoveries in this season of transition is that I have believed that busy=bad. My sweet, slow-paced summer schedule has been swapped out for one that is much more highly charged with many responsibilities and activities that are looking for a place within my week. I have found myself feeling shame over how full my schedule is and afraid that some punishment like physical illness or emotional burnout is my debt to pay for this choice.
God has been showing me that heart stewardship is central. When I am walking closely with Him, leaning into His strength and receiving His mercies for my day, then I have the resources that I need to handle whatever happens that day. When I rely on my own efforts and strive to accomplish all of the tasks that I have determined are essential, then I feel overwhelmed and burdened no matter how much free time and space that I have in my schedule.
I have also been learning that I can pause and reflect before I say "Yes" or "No" to things. Often my initial reaction to a request is based on a desire to please the other person, an automatic yes because it's one more thing that I can add to the list of things that are already in motion for me without thinking about it or an automatic no because it interferes with my beautifully self-determined, controlled plan for my life. Taking time to stop and ask myself and/or God questions like, "Will this bring me life?" "Can I offer this freely, without expectation or regret?" and "What would happen if I say No?" has been very helpful. Saying No, especially when it leaves someone else feeling disappointed or frustrated, has been hard. Maintaining a sense of wholeheartedness in the midst of a very busy schedule and season of life has felt exhilarating.
I also continue to hold questions in my heart about my identity, my role and my purpose in this season and how I can be fully present and engaged in every area of my life. As much as I would like to have a solid answer to cling to with regard to these questions, I am choosing to embrace the mystery of the unknown and to allow things to become clear over time.