Skip to main content

Transition, transition, transition

Wow, it's already the middle of September! This past month has flown by for me.









I just finished my fifth week of the new school year.

I am loving The Quiet Collection by Emily P Freeman to help me have a sane September. (This blog post appearing is a partial fruit from one of those devotions which encouraged me to stop overthinking things and create.)

I'm remembering how vital my crock pot is if we want to have a hot dinner on a work day.

I have completed 8 of my 21 days of working out goal for this month!

I have done some hard stops for prayer, gazing on beauty, snuggling one of my loves and remembering how to breathe deeply.

One of the discoveries in this season of transition is that I have believed that busy=bad. My sweet, slow-paced summer schedule has been swapped out for one that is much more highly charged with many responsibilities and activities that are looking for a place within my week. I have found myself feeling shame over how full my schedule is and afraid that some punishment like physical illness or emotional burnout is my debt to pay for this choice.

God has been showing me that heart stewardship is central. When I am walking closely with Him, leaning into His strength and receiving His mercies for my day, then I have the resources that I need to handle whatever happens that day. When I rely on my own efforts and strive to accomplish all of the tasks that I have determined are essential, then I feel overwhelmed and burdened no matter how much  free time and space that I have in my schedule.

I have also been learning that I can pause and reflect before I say "Yes" or "No" to things. Often my initial reaction to a request is based on a desire to please the other person, an automatic yes because it's one more thing that I can add to the list of things that are already in motion for me without thinking about it or an automatic no because it interferes with my beautifully self-determined, controlled plan for my life. Taking time to stop and ask myself and/or God questions like, "Will this bring me life?" "Can I offer this freely, without expectation or regret?" and "What would happen if I say No?" has been very helpful.  Saying No, especially when it leaves someone else feeling disappointed or frustrated, has been hard. Maintaining a sense of wholeheartedness in the midst of a very busy schedule and season of life has felt exhilarating.

I also continue to hold questions in my heart about my identity, my role and my purpose in this season and how I can be fully present and engaged in every area of my life. As much as I would like to have a solid answer to cling to with regard to these questions, I am choosing to embrace the mystery of the unknown and to allow things to become clear over time.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

3 weeks ago today

I got married three weeks ago today. I’ve been thinking a lot about our wedding since that day. This was my first week back to work, which meant that I got to talk a lot about that day and show pictures, because everything is still fresh and new and people are anxious to know how it went. I have missed writing. Several times during our honeymoon, I almost grabbed my laptop because I had the urge to write. I never did, but I wanted to. I think that it felt too intimate to record in some ways. And, in others, I was just enjoying being lazy and carefree. I plan to write about what I remember from my wedding. (Maybe even some things from our honeymoon. We shall see…) I don’t know what I will share, but I want to make a record of my memories and experiences from that day. Just three weeks later, but the feelings are less vivid and the mental pictures are less crisp. Fortunately, our photographer did an amazing job and I am thankful that I have those images to remind me....
2 comments
Read more

Praying is what I do

Isn't it encouraging when God reminds you of who you are and what it is that He has called you to do?! When I was at Fire in the Night, I prayed a lot and I loved it. I realized that I really have been created as an intercessor and that is my primary mandate. Now, I am also really gifted in counseling and helping people, but that's second. Praying is what I do first. This is what I was made for: to encounter God through prayer. I cry out to Him and He answers. I quiet myself and listen to Him speak to me too. My time at IHOP-KC affirmed this prayer calling and started me down the path to living as a committed intercessor in a HOP. It's been almost a year since I did Fire in the Night and I have started reversing my mandates again. You see, I had wrongly made counseling my primary mandate way back in graduate school. And, I had continued this way for years until I got completely burnt out. The snatches of time that I would get in the prayer room when I was home from Chi...
Post a Comment
Read more

Unfairly blessed

I have been feeling ridiculously blessed in the past week. I actually broke down when I was talking with my sister one night because it felt unfair that God is blessing me so extravagantly while other people I know and love are hard at work counting blessings because they are tempted to think that they aren't really receiving any at all. One of the things that I love about counting blessings is that it helps each of us to recognize just how blessed we really are. But, it is still painful when certain people seem to have everything come so easily to them and I think that I am continually going without. It's also hard when I have identified myself an unfairly unblessed person for so long and only recently, I have been trying to make the change to seeing myself as richly blessed. It feels awkward and scary. While it's true that my biggest unanswered prayer of finding a godly man to share my life with still hasn't been fulfilled, I have become that person who has things com...
2 comments
Read more