pursuing LOVE...and JOY...and WHOLEHEARTEDNESS!

I have been reflecting on the joy of the LORD. The Bible says that the joy of the LORD is my strength (Neh 8:10). Jesus said that He wants His joy to be in me and for my joy to be complete (John 15:11). I understand these verses to mean that God cares about my joy, that it is found through relationship with Him and that it is meant to strengthen me. I have a friend, Carly, who is an intercessory missionary in Istanbul, Turkey. She recently fell while getting off a trolley and broke her pelvis in 3 places. Carly has been in intense pain, has had almost no pain killers and little medical care. But, I’m still getting emails from her proclaiming that Jesus is worthy of all praise and that she is worshiping Him from her bed in Turkey. I read a letter from another missionary this morning. Her husband died very suddenly last September after a slight fall caused a massive hemorrhage in his brain. She is still grieving, but there was definite joy streaming through her letter as she tal...

I've decided to tell my Stitch Fix Story as a fun distraction from my usually serious blog material. :) (Actually, Stitch Fix is asking people to tell their stories and offering a grand prize of $1000 in Stitch Fix credit. This is what has truly motivated me.) Stitch Fix is a company that offers personal styling and sends items right to your home. You start by completing a style profile questionnaire that helps them determine your style and fit preferences. You pay a $20 styling fee that you can use toward purchasing items from your fix and you chose a date for your items to arrive. Then, Stitch Fix sends you a delightful box with five items picked just for you and the real fun begins. I first heard about Stitch Fix on my favorite blog, Chatting at the Sky by Emily P. Freeman. It sounded really fun and I knew that my sister Karyn, fashionista that she is, would love it too. So, we both completed style profiles and chose the same date for delivery of our Stitch Fixes. We w...

I have a client who has been pushing my buttons. I have prayed at least three times, asking God to take them elsewhere, out of my practice. I have also told God that my business is His business and that I will work with whoever He wants me to work with. Three times, this client has contacted me for an appointment almost right after I have prayed this. Last week, when it happened for the third time, I was mad. I was angry with God for ignoring my tired, overwhelmed and frustrated feelings and insisting that I see this person. I was mad at the people who were trying to encourage me and help me to see how God could be using these difficult circumstances to work glory in my life. I cried several times. I also shut down all feelings several times, when they got too intense. I reached an impasse. I knew that I could surrender my feelings to God and trust Him or I could insist on my feelings and surrender my joy. At first, I insisted on my feelings and was miserable. I was offended...

  I  started writing a blog post, but the topic felt old. I’m still struggling with all of the new and all of the changes. I’m still not adjusting as well or as quickly as I wish I was. I’m still struggling with feelings of fear and failure. But, I have written about all of this before and I don’t think that I really have anything new to say right now. I just need to keep leaning into my Beloved God. So, I decided to share with you one of my favorite holy imaginations that I have with God right now. I’m a little girl again. Big enough to run around, jump and sing, but not too big to crawl into my Abba’s lap when I’m feeling scared, tired or hurt. He cradles me in His big, strong arms and I can hear his faithful heart beat if I lean into His chest. I can see my knobby knees, bare feet and wiggling toes. They are dirty and sometimes knees have gotten scraped and toes have gotten stubbed. First, Father God quiets me. He stills the flow of anxious thoughts and slows the r...

  I have been increasingly stressed about my job in the past month. I started dreading going and feeling really anxious. I would send up panicked prayers all the way there, sometimes there were tears and I started living for my days off. At first, I denied that there was a problem and blamed my feelings and behavior on the fact that my life was crazy. But, my sister has been married for almost 3 weeks now. I’m settling in to my new office nicely, wedding planning is actually happening and we are making good progress. But, I still feel stressed about work. I have my second canker sore in a month, my stomach has been hurting and I had a migraine on Monday afternoon. Ben and I traveled to Kansas City this weekend to attend a friend’s wedding and spend some time at the International House of Prayer there. It ended up being a Fire in the Night reunion of sorts. We were able to have long conversations with my lovely friend Jessi, be encouraged by receiving prophetic prayer and c...

  New seasons are exploding in my life.    I’ve got blue paint under my finger nails from preparing the new office and only two more days left in the old one. I have stacks of paper that will help me change my business address with all the insurance networks and folders crammed with all the pink progress notes that are coming with me. I know that I will have a chair, my desk and a loveseat to welcome my first client at 8:15 AM on Monday morning, but I’m not sure if anything else will be set up by then. I hope that all of my clients will be able to make it across the street and remember to call my new business number instead of the old one. I’m really excited about this next season in my professional life, but worried that I have loose ends that aren’t tied up. 92 days until I marry Ben and we still have to print invitations, finalize our menu and find somewhere to live. We’re praying that the weather will be sunny and beautiful because I really don’t want to s...

I just realized that it’s been three weeks since I posted on my blog. It’s not because I don’t have anything that I’m learning or wanting to share. It’s because my life is crazy busy right now. I have tried to dedicate Thursday nights to spending time at the House of Prayer and writing for my blog, but it didn’t work that way very well in June. The Thursday before last, I was at a really fun picnic with my new office community. Last Thursday night, I was at home spending time with my family as we anticipated my sister’s wedding this past weekend. This Thursday night, I hope to be at the house of prayer, but I will be just days away from moving my office, so I can’t really be sure. I’m going to put as many of my thoughts from the past three weeks into this post as I can, but I know that they won’t all fit, so I will probably post a part 2 on Thursday. One of my favorite God lessons recently: I don’t need to hoard Starburst candy. (Or anything else, really.) I’ve been feeling ...