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Hinds' Feet on High Places

I have a client who has been pushing my buttons. I have prayed at least three times, asking God to take them elsewhere, out of my practice. I have also told God that my business is His business and that I will work with whoever He wants me to work with. Three times, this client has contacted me for an appointment almost right after I have prayed this.
Last week, when it happened for the third time, I was mad. I was angry with God for ignoring my tired, overwhelmed and frustrated feelings and insisting that I see this person. I was mad at the people who were trying to encourage me and help me to see how God could be using these difficult circumstances to work glory in my life. I cried several times. I also shut down all feelings several times, when they got too intense. I reached an impasse. I knew that I could surrender my feelings to God and trust Him or I could insist on my feelings and surrender my joy.
At first, I insisted on my feelings and was miserable. I was offended at God and couldn’t talk about the situation with anyone without becoming upset. I knew that it would be better to trust God, but I was mad that He was insisting that I stay in a situation I didn’t want to be in for some reason that I couldn’t understand. I was sad that He was not willing to deliver me from the circumstances and only offered to comfort me in the midst of the difficulty. That wasn’t the provision that I wanted and I wasn’t sure that I wanted the provision that He was offering.
Finally, I missed Him too much to insist on my painful feelings any longer. I broke down one more time and cried out to God. I let the torrent of hurt and angry feelings flow right out of me and into Him. I chose to trust Him even if He didn’t change my circumstances. I chose to find my joy in relationship with Him even if I continued to struggle with this particular difficulty.
Today, my circumstances are the same, but my feelings are different. I am enjoying greater peace and joy because of my relationship with God and those feelings exceed the uncomfortable feelings that I have about that case.
Though the fig tree does not blossom and there is no fruit on the vines, [though] the product of the olive fails and the fields yield no food, though the flock is cut off from the fold and there are no cattle in the stalls, Yet I will rejoice in the Lord: I will exult in the [victorious] God of my salvation! The Lord God is my Strength, my personal bravery, and my invincible army; He makes my feet like hinds’ feet and will make me to walk [not stand still in terror, but to walk] and make [spiritual] progress upon my high places [of trouble, suffering, or responsibility]! Habakkuk 3:17-19 AMP
God is teaching me to walk on the high places. I don’t like it and it’s not comfortable, but it is helping me to be more like Him and training me to be able to follow Him wherever He leads me. This doesn’t feel good, but it is good. My offense at God’s leadership in my life reveals my pride in my own understanding of how I should be conformed to the image of Christ. It is God’s kindness and generosity to orchestrate my life events in such a way that the ugliness that lives within me gets provoked. I can repent for it when it is revealed to me. Practicing gratitude changes my attitude and gives me joy along this journey. It helps me to value what God is doing instead of resenting it.
How is God offending you? Where are you unhappy with His leadership in your life? What is God revealing within you by way of your difficult circumstances? How can you rejoice in the Lord in the midst of it all?
Still Counting Gifts:
·         #837: 3 day weekends
·         #838: working with Dad to restore the coffee hut
·         #839: meeting more of Ben’s good friends
·         #840: lies about God exposed in my heart and truth pushing them out
·         #841: God desires my friendship
·         #842: I love, love, love my new office!
·         #843: surely goodness and mercy are chasing me down all the days of my life
·         #844: my cup actually does overflow
·         #845: God is always with me
·         #846: When I struggle, God is there with me
·         #847: God does care about my feelings, but He doesn’t fear and avoid them like I do or alter circumstances just to change them
·         #848: the fight for my joy when circumstances try to steal it
·         #849: wedding cake tasting
·         #850: baking
·         #851: Ben made fumi salad and it was delicious
·         #852: the lazy river at Magic Waters
·         #853: Boone County Fair
·         #854: lemonade shakeups
·         #855: my sister buys her house tomorrow!


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