Skip to main content

Hinds' Feet on High Places



I have a client who has been pushing my buttons. I have prayed at least three times, asking God to take them elsewhere, out of my practice. I have also told God that my business is His business and that I will work with whoever He wants me to work with. Three times, this client has contacted me for an appointment almost right after I have prayed this.
Last week, when it happened for the third time, I was mad. I was angry with God for ignoring my tired, overwhelmed and frustrated feelings and insisting that I see this person. I was mad at the people who were trying to encourage me and help me to see how God could be using these difficult circumstances to work glory in my life. I cried several times. I also shut down all feelings several times, when they got too intense. I reached an impasse. I knew that I could surrender my feelings to God and trust Him or I could insist on my feelings and surrender my joy.
At first, I insisted on my feelings and was miserable. I was offended at God and couldn’t talk about the situation with anyone without becoming upset. I knew that it would be better to trust God, but I was mad that He was insisting that I stay in a situation I didn’t want to be in for some reason that I couldn’t understand. I was sad that He was not willing to deliver me from the circumstances and only offered to comfort me in the midst of the difficulty. That wasn’t the provision that I wanted and I wasn’t sure that I wanted the provision that He was offering.
Finally, I missed Him too much to insist on my painful feelings any longer. I broke down one more time and cried out to God. I let the torrent of hurt and angry feelings flow right out of me and into Him. I chose to trust Him even if He didn’t change my circumstances. I chose to find my joy in relationship with Him even if I continued to struggle with this particular difficulty.
Today, my circumstances are the same, but my feelings are different. I am enjoying greater peace and joy because of my relationship with God and those feelings exceed the uncomfortable feelings that I have about that case.
Though the fig tree does not blossom and there is no fruit on the vines, [though] the product of the olive fails and the fields yield no food, though the flock is cut off from the fold and there are no cattle in the stalls, Yet I will rejoice in the Lord: I will exult in the [victorious] God of my salvation! The Lord God is my Strength, my personal bravery, and my invincible army; He makes my feet like hinds’ feet and will make me to walk [not stand still in terror, but to walk] and make [spiritual] progress upon my high places [of trouble, suffering, or responsibility]! Habakkuk 3:17-19 AMP
God is teaching me to walk on the high places. I don’t like it and it’s not comfortable, but it is helping me to be more like Him and training me to be able to follow Him wherever He leads me. This doesn’t feel good, but it is good. My offense at God’s leadership in my life reveals my pride in my own understanding of how I should be conformed to the image of Christ. It is God’s kindness and generosity to orchestrate my life events in such a way that the ugliness that lives within me gets provoked. I can repent for it when it is revealed to me. Practicing gratitude changes my attitude and gives me joy along this journey. It helps me to value what God is doing instead of resenting it.
How is God offending you? Where are you unhappy with His leadership in your life? What is God revealing within you by way of your difficult circumstances? How can you rejoice in the Lord in the midst of it all?
Still Counting Gifts:
·         #837: 3 day weekends
·         #838: working with Dad to restore the coffee hut
·         #839: meeting more of Ben’s good friends
·         #840: lies about God exposed in my heart and truth pushing them out
·         #841: God desires my friendship
·         #842: I love, love, love my new office!
·         #843: surely goodness and mercy are chasing me down all the days of my life
·         #844: my cup actually does overflow
·         #845: God is always with me
·         #846: When I struggle, God is there with me
·         #847: God does care about my feelings, but He doesn’t fear and avoid them like I do or alter circumstances just to change them
·         #848: the fight for my joy when circumstances try to steal it
·         #849: wedding cake tasting
·         #850: baking
·         #851: Ben made fumi salad and it was delicious
·         #852: the lazy river at Magic Waters
·         #853: Boone County Fair
·         #854: lemonade shakeups
·         #855: my sister buys her house tomorrow!


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

3 weeks ago today

I got married three weeks ago today. I’ve been thinking a lot about our wedding since that day. This was my first week back to work, which meant that I got to talk a lot about that day and show pictures, because everything is still fresh and new and people are anxious to know how it went. I have missed writing. Several times during our honeymoon, I almost grabbed my laptop because I had the urge to write. I never did, but I wanted to. I think that it felt too intimate to record in some ways. And, in others, I was just enjoying being lazy and carefree. I plan to write about what I remember from my wedding. (Maybe even some things from our honeymoon. We shall see…) I don’t know what I will share, but I want to make a record of my memories and experiences from that day. Just three weeks later, but the feelings are less vivid and the mental pictures are less crisp. Fortunately, our photographer did an amazing job and I am thankful that I have those images to remind me....
2 comments
Read more

Back to School

Well, after four years away from school counseling, I have decided to return. Yes, I'm keeping my private practice in counseling. I will be reducing the number of clients that I see on a weekly basis in order to work 20 hours a week as a school counselor at Rockford Christian Elementary School. This comes in the midst of conversations that I have been having with God about desire. In fact, pursuing this position kind of started those conversations. My good friend Mackenzie, who works in the business office at RCS, told me about the position innocently enough. She wanted me to have the information about the position in case I had any counselor friends who might be interested in applying. What neither she nor I could have known, was how desire would stir in my heart as soon as she started to describe it to me. There are things that I have come to absolutely love in private practice counseling. I love being my own boss, setting my own hours and having complete freedom over...
1 comment
Read more

Wow, it’s March already

I haven’t written anything during the whole month of February. I thought about writing several different things, but never got around to it. I had ideas and I made plans. Unfortunately, they were never realized. It has been a busy month. I got engaged two weeks ago. Ben did an amazing job of surprising me by proposing at 9 PM on a Thursday night, when I thought we were going outside to start my car so I could go home. We stood on the exact spot where we first met in October of 2010, outside what was the barn at Anderson Organic farm, and remembered that first day. He offered me a chocolate, I discovered a ring hidden in the box, he got down on one knee and there were fireworks. (Yes, actual fireworks!) So, we’re getting married in September and I’m excited, but also overwhelmed by all the change and planning. In addition to such a significant change in my personal life, I’m preparing to make some major changes in my professional life. I will continue counseling because I lo...
1 comment
Read more