Skip to main content

5 days of wedding anticipation

On the 5th day before my wedding...

I was awake between 2 and 3 AM, chasing thoughts around my brain. I almost got up and just got to work when I struggled to fall back asleep. I was relieved when my alarm went off at 6 AM and it was actually time for me to be awake.

I went out just before the sunrise, with the moon still fading and the mist rising above the fields in the forest preserve. Lily and I ran 3 miles and I just let my brain go. It felt good to finally match the pace of my mind with the pace of my body, although my body isn't actually as fast.

I don't feel stressed emotionally, but my body does. It's doing all kinds of funny things as I anticipate our big day this Saturday. I keep leaning into God, however I'm feeling. I bring him my racing thoughts, my physical strain and my full heart. I ask Him to help me savor every moment between now and then and to receive every gift, no matter how small. I know that this is an exquisitely special time in my life that I will never experience again and I want to drink it down and enjoy every last drop.

I enjoyed a huge gift of time at work today. I had no clients from 10:00 AM to 2:00 PM. I caught up on things from last week, checked a few more pre-wedding items off of my list and took an amazing 35 minute nap after lunch when my head was pounding and I could go no further.

I'm also enjoying my office today. I had a friend from church stop by today and I was so excited to show her my space here. I love how sunlight streams through the windows and the color is calming. Thank you God that I love where I work.


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Back to School

Well, after four years away from school counseling, I have decided to return. Yes, I'm keeping my private practice in counseling. I will be reducing the number of clients that I see on a weekly basis in order to work 20 hours a week as a school counselor at Rockford Christian Elementary School. This comes in the midst of conversations that I have been having with God about desire. In fact, pursuing this position kind of started those conversations. My good friend Mackenzie, who works in the business office at RCS, told me about the position innocently enough. She wanted me to have the information about the position in case I had any counselor friends who might be interested in applying. What neither she nor I could have known, was how desire would stir in my heart as soon as she started to describe it to me. There are things that I have come to absolutely love in private practice counseling. I love being my own boss, setting my own hours and having complete freedom over...
1 comment
Read more

When Creative Desire Stirs

The past 3 months have felt crazy. And during all these months of crazy, busy activity in my life, desire has been stirring in the background of my heart. I read things that other people write and feel myself come alive. I talk with people and hear things that God is speaking and want to write them down and share. I listen to music, sing to the Lord and long to create something that will help other people to connect with God in worship. It has been over two months since I touched our piano. Or any piano, for that matter. This is also my first blog post in almost 3 months. Crazy months, yes. But, 3 months all the same. I feel sad about these things. And scared to start again. What if I have lost everything that I had developed? But even fear of the possible frustration of starting again has not been able to change my desire. My desire has only been stirring and growing all this time. My desire is to resume creating. With piano. With words. This is week 9 of my training for t...
Post a Comment
Read more

31 Days to Keep a Tender Heart: October 18

  Always be joyful. Keep on praying. No matter what happens, always be thankful, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus. I Thessalonians 5:16-18 Ann Voskamp quoted this passage in her blog recently. Then, I read it in my one-year Bible for October 12. Seeing it twice within a week caught my attention. Verse 16 is: Always be joyful. This sounds like a command to me and I don’t think God would command us to do something we can’t do. If He tells me to always be joyful, then I believe that it is always possible for me to be joyful and that this is what God desires for me. Verse 17 is: Keep on praying. I hear another command. And, it follows the first one, which I understand to mean that prayer is related to being joyful. The joy provokes the prayer; the prayer sustains the joy, or both. Either way, I like how God has placed these two directives right next to each other. Verse 18: No matter what happens, always be thankful, for this is God’s will for ...
Post a Comment
Read more