I know some of you probably forgot that I even used to do this, but I hope that you're as excited as I am that I'm coming back to blogging. It's a new season and God has been stirring up lots of creativity and courage in me recently. I'm happy to tell you all about it.
In case you missed it, I became a mom to sweet Elias last summer. In fact, he is about to turn 1 year old on Monday and I can't believe it! Guys, he is absolutely the sweetest, calmest and most delightful baby you can ever imagine and I still tear up sometimes in gratitude when I remember that he is my little boy.
One of my life dreams to be a stay-at-home mama has been partially fulfilled in that I only work three days a week during the school year. I work 2 1/2 days at RCS Elementary School and it is an amazing place. Shortly after I got there, they put me in charge of the two chapel services that happen each week. Guess what? Leading worship, speaking and recruiting other people to come minister to our students has become my favorite part of my job. Plus, all the people that I work with are amazing and it's a really great community to be a part of.
Ben, Samson, and our sweet "tiny" house are as wonderful as ever. My love for reading, talking, thinking, praying, singing, drinking coffee, spending quality time with my people, consuming natural beauty and my commitment to eating dessert have not changed.
I have continued to learn and process things during my blogging "radio" silence. In fact, the past six months have seen me engaging significantly in some new areas of my heart and my life.
I started taking Brene Brown's online course, Vulnerability, Courage, Shame, and Empathy: The Living Brave Continuing Education Course and it has deeply impacted me. I had not realized how much I struggled with shame and how perfectionism has kept me "safe" by preventing me from taking risks, being my authentic self and living wholeheartedly. I read her book Daring Greatly, completed the lessons and became increasingly stirred to live from my whole heart.
This summer has been an incredible blessing to me because I have only had to work one day each week. I actually felt a tremendous amount of anxiety the first week that I was off from school because I felt overwhelmed by this gift of time and I was afraid that I would squander it. But then, I settled in and it has been wonderful.
I have had time and energy to pursue things that my heart loves, but is often not able to pursue. Being home with Elias 6 out of 7 days has been the biggest blessing. It is so delightful to share my days with him and experience the world through his curious and happy eyes! Beyond this blessing that already feels so loving and satisfying, I have started to feel more creative again. I feel more connected to my heart and what it desires than I ever have before. And, I feel more able to pursue these desires because of the time and space in my schedule.
This has propelled me to tell God that I really want to continue on this amazing heart journey and to ask Him to help me figure out how to maintain the heart revival that I am loving when I return to work at the school in just under a months' time. I also recognize that I would really like to have a different schedule on a more permanent basis and I started asking God to make this possible in time.
Shortly after I started this conversation with God, He began to respond. I believe that God is already providing an amazing opportunity for me to pursue the lifestyle that I am desiring for my heart and for my family! He has thrown wide a door that I never imagined walking through before. God has been establishing my identity in ways that I will need for this new opportunity and it will be a great chance for me to show up, be seen and live wholeheartedly.
So, be watching for another post sometime soon to say more about this...